We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize