I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
