you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
