We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
a search helicopter?!
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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