I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
