She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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