Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
