Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
