So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
