Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
