I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
