ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
