oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
