I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
this just has baby written all over it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
