just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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