That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize