How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize