I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
