What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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