I wanna passion pit in your ass
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
