I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
