Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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