The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
