If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize