Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Banned from zoo.
Again?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
