just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
