How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize