nut hugger
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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