seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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