I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
