The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
