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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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