well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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