My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
