my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
