You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I am available for nakedness
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
