I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
