I cockslap morals
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
