a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
