just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
