theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize