Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
