i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
