I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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