On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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