I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
