did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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