We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
