If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
