Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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