I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
