Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Dear god my vagina.
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