woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
