We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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