so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
