And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize