butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
its liver damage thursday
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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