I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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