please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Me too!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
