I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
