The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
