you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
