first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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