he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
