weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize