Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize